Five Parenting Phrases I Use Daily

Here are some of our most commonly overheard phrases at home. Yes they get forgotten for days at a time but the more I practise the more second nature they become:

“We were really busy getting ready to leave just now! Let’s regulate together.”

“YES you can have that as soon as it’s snack time/bedtime/screentime. Let me write that down to make sure it happens.”

“If it’s too difficult to turn it off later, I’ll help you. We can think of ideas to make it easier next time.”

“I’m saying no because helping you eat the right amount of sugar is my job. There’ll be plenty more of this available soon.”

“I’m sorry I snapped earlier. I really don’t want to upset you. My feelings are mine and I’m practising new ways to stay calm. My love for you never, ever changes.”

As you can see they're mostly to do with boundaries and transitions. They help me stay sure-footed and respectful when I might otherwise slip into being stressed out and snappy. And when I do inevitably get annoyed, I always make sure to apologise.

If saying 'regulate' to your kid is too much, put your own twist on it: "Let's do bellow breathing together" or "Copy what I say but really s-l-o-w-l-y."

Even if they don't join in, they're seeing how we make a habit of tuning into our bodies and finding balance again. A great time to practise daily? Straight after the morning rush out the door.

All of these phrases tell children that we're on their side even if their behaviour is challenging. When you start growing your vocabulary of respectful leadership, it's amazing how the rest of our communication follows on and we start to receive it back.