When children say or do things we don’t like, often we're compelled to correct it.

Although it feels natural to address misbehaviour, always jumping to correction and consequences can lead a child to expect the same when they’re on the receiving end of it.

If we want to lessen their dependency on us and empower our kids to stand up for themselves, we can model what it looks like. We’re talking about times when your child calls you a name, snatches something or is physically rough with you. These are opportunities to show them (and their siblings) a mature response that keeps things on good terms.

"She won't let me leave the room before she's asleep." "I had to carry him the whole time." "He hates holding my hand to cross the road."

Whenever I hear myself or a client using phrases like this, I pause. They're clues as to who's holding the power in these situations.

Parents often tell me in our first conversation that they’ve been following conscious parenting accounts for some time. There are some brilliant resources out there - you’ll find a handy list here - and as a parent myself I’ve gained so much from that daily drip feed of positive parenting.

Here are some of our most commonly overheard phrases at home. Yes they get forgotten for days at a time but the more I practise the more second nature they become.

Can you remember a teacher in your life who you absolutely adored? One you wanted to work hard for, and who supported you through good times and bad? For those of us lucky enough to have experienced this in childhood, it perfectly illustrates a core principle of what I call relational parenting: A secure attachment to a caregiver fosters good behaviour.

No parent sets boundaries perfectly every time. You start off with a well-meaning "Of course you can" and before you know it you're negotiating a second ice cream, the next episode, "Can I get the paints out?" ten mins before you need to leave.