"She won't let me leave the room before she's asleep." "I had to carry him the whole time." "He hates holding my hand to cross the road."

Whenever I hear myself or a client using phrases like this, I pause. They're clues as to who's holding the power in these situations.

Here are some of our most commonly overheard phrases at home. Yes they get forgotten for days at a time but the more I practise the more second nature they become.

Can you remember a teacher in your life who you absolutely adored? One you wanted to work hard for, and who supported you through good times and bad? For those of us lucky enough to have experienced this in childhood, it perfectly illustrates a core principle of what I call relational parenting: A secure attachment to a caregiver fosters good behaviour.

No parent sets boundaries perfectly every time. You start off with a well-meaning "Of course you can" and before you know it you're negotiating a second ice cream, the next episode, "Can I get the paints out?" ten mins before you need to leave.

Ah perfectionism, that sweet bedfellow. You have to love the irony of us super competent parents, million-miles-an-hour-spinning-every-plate, trying to tell our kids not to worry about failure.

Sportcasting - or broadcasting - has to be one of my top positive parenting tools. It's just so.... neutral. Whenever we're tempted to rush in with a "HEY, STOP THAT" or a judgement or a command, sportscasting gives us the breathing space to think about our response.

Let's talk suncream.

A bone of contention between parents and kids since Ancient Greek times (not kidding, they used olive oil 😂).

Who hasn't resorted to manhandling, distraction, warnings, requests and bribes to swipe it on?