Let’s Talk about Suncream

Suncream applying. Yeuch.

A bone of contention between parents and kids since Ancient Greek times (not kidding, they used olive oil 😂).

Who hasn't resorted to manhandling, distraction, warnings, requests and bribes to swipe it on?

Facing occasional or chronic resistance with things like suncream, helmets, medicine, toothbrushing and the car seat can spark in us:

• A fear of losing control over the outcome (in this case preventing sunburn/cancer).

• A fear of our child's reaction to our insistence.

Accessing a calm state is the key to finding respectful, non-power-struggle solutions and holding space for big feelings.

Here are some reframes to help channel benign leadership:

🤲🏼 My child is exploring their autonomy and finds this process arbitrary and uncomfortable. I trust that in time they'll learn to hold the limit for themselves.

🤲🏼 I'm the one in charge of limits relating to safety. I decide if this is a hard limit or if I'll play a longer game and use modelling / problem solving instead.

🤲🏼 More than anything my child needs my conviction and warmth. I'm modelling how to lead with empathy not control.

🤲🏼 The responsibility of skin care is too much for my child to handle so I'll take away the burden and offer them a simpler choice: "Roll on or spray today?"

🤲🏼 I'll do my best to invite cooperation using tools like playfulness, fun rituals, choice and allowing more time.

🤲🏼 If I do need to use brief force, I'll do it respectfully: "You can try again tomorrow but today you're finding it hard to put cream on. I'll help you real quick. You don't like the feeling so tell me to be more gentle if you need to. I've already finished your legs..."

🤲🏼 If my child's old enough, we'll have a chat when things are calm and try to problem solve it together. We might need to keep trying new ideas.