Do you feel like no matter what you say to acknowledge your child’s feelings, it doesn’t help? You say sympathetically, "You're feeling angry right now" or “You wish you could watch another episode” and instead of calming down, they scream, cry harder, lash out or run away.

When all the positive parenting guidance is telling you to name feelings and hold space, it can be confusing when it backfires.

"She won't let me leave the room before she's asleep." "I had to carry him the whole time." "He hates holding my hand to cross the road."

Whenever I hear myself or a client using phrases like this, I pause. They're clues as to who's holding the power in these situations.

Here are some of our most commonly overheard phrases at home. Yes they get forgotten for days at a time but the more I practise the more second nature they become.

Ah perfectionism, that sweet bedfellow. You have to love the irony of us super competent parents, million-miles-an-hour-spinning-every-plate, trying to tell our kids not to worry about failure.

Let's talk suncream.

A bone of contention between parents and kids since Ancient Greek times (not kidding, they used olive oil 😂).

Who hasn't resorted to manhandling, distraction, warnings, requests and bribes to swipe it on?