Do you feel like no matter what you say to acknowledge your child’s feelings, it doesn’t help? You say sympathetically, "You're feeling angry right now" or “You wish you could watch another episode” and instead of calming down, they scream, cry harder, lash out or run away.

When all the positive parenting guidance is telling you to name feelings and hold space, it can be confusing when it backfires.

"She won't let me leave the room before she's asleep." "I had to carry him the whole time." "He hates holding my hand to cross the road."

Whenever I hear myself or a client using phrases like this, I pause. They're clues as to who's holding the power in these situations.

Parents often tell me in our first conversation that they’ve been following conscious parenting accounts for some time. There are some brilliant resources out there - you’ll find a handy list here - and as a parent myself I’ve gained so much from that daily drip feed of positive parenting.

Can you remember a teacher in your life who you absolutely adored? One you wanted to work hard for, and who supported you through good times and bad? For those of us lucky enough to have experienced this in childhood, it perfectly illustrates a core principle of what I call relational parenting: A secure attachment to a caregiver fosters good behaviour.

No parent sets boundaries perfectly every time. You start off with a well-meaning "Of course you can" and before you know it you're negotiating a second ice cream, the next episode, "Can I get the paints out?" ten mins before you need to leave.

Ah perfectionism, that sweet bedfellow. You have to love the irony of us super competent parents, million-miles-an-hour-spinning-every-plate, trying to tell our kids not to worry about failure.

Ah perfectionism, that sweet bedfellow. You have to love the irony of us super competent parents, million-miles-an-hour-spinning-every-plate, trying to tell our kids not to worry about failure.

Ah perfectionism, that sweet bedfellow. You have to love the irony of us super competent parents, million-miles-an-hour-spinning-every-plate, trying to tell our kids not to worry about failure.

Sportcasting - or broadcasting - has to be one of my top positive parenting tools. It's just so.... neutral. Whenever we're tempted to rush in with a "HEY, STOP THAT" or a judgement or a command, sportscasting gives us the breathing space to think about our response.

Sportcasting - or broadcasting - has to be one of my top positive parenting tools. It's just so.... neutral. Whenever we're tempted to rush in with a "HEY, STOP THAT" or a judgement or a command, sportscasting gives us the breathing space to think about our response.